Thursday, March 1, 2012

2Y93D: To Pierce or Not to Pierce

My Daughter is 7 months old now.

When I was her age my parents had already taken me to get my ears pierced.   I don't remember it. 

Now here's the question.  Do you have a little girl?  Have you, or are you planning on getting her ears pierced?

Don't get me wrong, if you have a son and want to do the same, that is certainly up to you.  This is not supposed to be a sexist thing, though I can't say I recommend it.

My opinion on the matter is, No.  Until she asks me, or expresses interest in getting her ears pierced, she will remain without holes in her ears (not including the holes she already has...I figure she's more apt to put something in those holes before I put holes in her lobes.)

Also, if she then asks for a second hole, she can have an additional one at 14...more at 16.

I have many friends who have gone ahead and pierced their girls' ears. That's fine, it's cute, it's just not for me.

Why? You ask. Good question.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it has something to do with the choice I make for her.  Perhaps it is a decision that I want her to think about, weigh the options, and make on her own.

It certainly isn't because I don't believe ears should be pierced, I have...more than 2 in each ear.  It isn't because I worry about her looking like a boy.  It isn't because I don't want the hassle or having to clean them multiple times a day.

I want her to be self confident.  I want her to think for herself.

Should she want this, we'll do it properly.  Professionally.  Not at a kiosk in the mall.

And so, at 7 months old, it's one less thing I have to worry about for a few years.

>>>>---INTRODUCING.....  A New Section...

Today's Mess of the Day

Today's "Mess of the Day" is brought to you by Streit's Matzo.  

I think from here on out I'll use this format - a post, then, a Mess of the Day.  What do you think?


  1. For us it is cultural. My wife's Cuban family is used to having the ears pierced by the pediatrician at the baby's second or third appointment. So yes, baby Valley's ears are going to be pierced this summer while we are in Orlando, where it should be easy to find a doctor willing to do so.

  2. Looking forward to seeing those cutie pictures. :) I'm not opposed to it, just the decision we're making ourselves.

  3. I agree with waiting until she is old enough to request it. There definitely are cultural differences, but I always is weird when babies havw pierced ears. I see pierced ears as more of a grown up thing. I think I got it done around 5th or 6th grade. At a mall kiosk. I think one is angled crookedly, but it could just be that my ears themselves. I never heard of doctors doing it.

  4. Neither of my girls have their ears pierced. I think it's cute, but as you said, it's not for us. When the toddler was little I had a discussion with my dad about it. Here was his take (paraphased):"I'll never understand why parents pierce their baby's ears. It's like taking this perfect little thing and poking holes in it because you don't appreciate how perfect it already is."

    This sentiment stuck with me. I want my girls to know they are perfect the way they are. If they want their ears pierced they can ask. What if they don't and I made that decision for them? So I've poked holes in their body without their consent and without a medical or life threatening reason. I just can't do it. However, I do think it's pretty cute.

  5. Lauren hit it right on the head for me. Laura and I were just discussing this issue the other day (not for Lucas) but after noticing infants at the grocery store.
    I also like the format change. I'm sure you can come up with one mess a day.

  6. Was searching for my GF's blog with same last name and came across yours. Read your interesting question to others about pro's and con's of infant ear piercing.

    Admittedly, I know a lot of people have strong feelings when to pierce a child's ear. "Let them decide" is being replaced by parental decision when mommy intuition knows, "earlier is better" from either personal or friend's experiences of unpleasant childhood ear piercing. I think it just depends on your own personal choice whether or not you wish your baby or little girl to have pierced ears.

    Some feel perceived gender of their child is important while others find it a cultural tradition where all infant girls have pierced ears. I pierced our oldest daughter's ears when she was two months old and our youngest at just days old. We found an experienced individual where they specialized in infant piercing. Your're right about finding the right person so they are done properly, are not crooked later in life and don't have problems later with infection.

    Our oldest daughter just turned two and has never had an infection, pulled them out, and she's never even played with her earrings (which is amazing in my book). My mom pierced my ears when I was 2 weeks old and I've loved it....I think earrings on little girls are adorable! Many of my friends growing up were envious of mine and asked why their mom didn't pierce their ears as a baby. I didn't know, but one by one my girlfriends got their ears pierced albeit with angst and anxiety. Some said it hurt, cried and failed to care for them properly getting infecting and losing their precious little earrings. They were deeply saddened again asking their mother why they had waited. According to our ped doing them when mommy cares for them is best.

    Some feel earrings on babies are grown up or force them to lose their innocence of childhool. Others like me contend it looks very feminine. If you don't know how your dd would look at any age, then hold up a pair of your studs to each ear in front of a mirror allowing her to see herself and decide for yourself. Warning: your dd may feel very differently and find your dd smiling in anticipation of getting little earrings like mommy. Many moms including myself like the look of earrings on babies and little girls for no specific reason, but like how light plays off a simple gold ball on a bald baby girl or small gold hoop poking through the hair of a toddler.

    Cerebrally, as mothers of girls of all ages, we know it celebrates their femaleness and femininity. After all, they are little girls, right? Growing up I remember many of my little girlfriends were not allowed to get their ears pierced. I could never understand it...but when their parents did finally let them, it always seemed they'd get infected because they were constantly touching them or trying to change out the earrings before they were supposed to. Many said it was painful, but all cried having a great deal of angst leading up to and including the actual ear piercing.

    To each their own but I think the earlier the easier. Our ped encouraged me to go ahead before she aware of her surrounding or developed a pincer grip to play with her ears. She gave me some suggestions for moms having their daughter's ears pierced. They seem to apply to all ages.

    Just when is the best time to pierce your daughter's ears? It is when you are ready to care for them during the healing phase. They are very easy to care for. If you decide to do it as a newborn or infant, then I promise she'll thank you later!

    If you change your mind or other moms want our ped's tips, then don't hesitate to write me an e-mail.


  7. Growing up in your house, the real question is when is she allowed to get her first tattoo? If it's left up to me, there will be inked Danger at age 18, and not before. If she wants it at all. As for the elder one... I think he's likely to tattoo himself at age 5 by accident.

  8. Though she would certainly mess with her ears less the younger she is, I truly want her to make the decision.

    Also, as tattoos go, that is absolutely an 18 yr thing - but I hope they make smarter decisions than my 18 years decisions.